Listening to What’s Not Said — Attitude and Tone
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Listening to What’s Not Said
In hospitality, a guest who says ‘Fine, thank you’ can mean three different things depending on their tone. A flat voice means ‘Not fine at all.’ A quick voice means ‘I’m busy.’ A warm voice means it. I learned to listen for attitude before I learned the word ‘attitude’. Listening is never just decoding words.
Listening for attitude and opinion = understanding the speaker’s feeling or perspective, not just the facts they state.
Markers of attitude in speech:
– Tone: flat vs warm vs sarcastic
– Hedges: ‘I suppose’, ‘maybe’, ‘kind of’ (uncertainty, reluctance)
– Intensifiers: ‘absolutely’, ‘definitely’, ‘not at all’ (strong views)
– Stress: ‘I didn’t say that’ vs ‘I didn’t say that‘
“I didn’t say she was lying.” → (someone else said it)
“I didn’t say she was lying.” → (I implied it, not said it)
“I didn’t say she was lying.” → (I said something else about her)
→ Same words. Three different meanings. Stress carries attitude.
Reading attitude
1. ‘That was… interesting.’ (said slowly, flatly) What does the speaker really mean? Probably not positive — ‘interesting’ used as a polite substitute for ‘strange’ or ‘I didn’t like it’.
2. What do hedges like ‘I suppose’ tell you? The speaker is uncertain, reluctant, or not fully committed to what they’re saying.
3. Is understanding attitude a bottom-up or top-down listening skill? Top-down — it uses knowledge of social context, intonation patterns, and background knowledge.
Independent project; not affiliated with, endorsed by, or accredited by Cambridge University Press & Assessment. Confers no qualification.
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